LIVING WITH JOY - Chapter 7
VII. Refining the Ego-
Recognizing who you are
It is important to recognize who you are, without being too egotistical or too humble. It is the two-fold problem of being all you can be. Many of you have not developed a picture of power that you would want to emulate. Many of your images and role models of powerful people come from those who have abused and misused their influence. Therefore, many of you have held back from using your power, because the images you hold of it are negative.
If is important to develop
positive pictures about
the nature of power.
Many of you are very evolved, have much inner sight and wisdom and are looking for ways to express it in the outer world. Learn to tell the difference between those people who are truly influential and full of light and those who only wear the cloak of power. This skill will assist you on your path of joy for it will also help you to recognize your own nobility. Think now of a person you consider powerful, male or female. What is it about that person that you admire? You all know people who have a great deal of authority and yet, when you are with them you feel depreciated, ignored, or put down. I speak of those people who seem to be in a position of power and control and who have many people around them. I will say that true power is the ability to motivate, love, encourage, and help people recognize who they are.
Think now of people you know who have changed your life. In knowing them you felt inspired and expanded. Think of how they used their influence. It is important to recognize people who are full of light, for they come in many forms and packages. And it is time to be aware of those people who are not leading you to a path of greater light and joy. If you can clearly identify those people who have your greatest good in mind, and surround yourself with them, you will grow more rapidly and have much more to offer others.
Evolved people are very gentle souls. Some evolved souls do not yet recognize who they are, and may be too humble. They are most often generous, helpful, and friendly. It may seem as if they cannot do enough for you. I am talking about a certain level of development where the personality does not yet recognize the level of the soul. Many of you are too humble, still wearing the cloak of self-doubt, of wondering who you are. You who are so kind and loving are full of light; you have so much to offer the world. It is important for you to take off your veil, for it hinders you in serving on a larger scale. When you pay attention to your doubts and fears, to that little voice saying, "You're not good enough," you are simply giving heed to your lower self. You have the ability to change your focus.
Pay attention to your higher nature,
and your lower one will simply
wither from lack of attention.
You do not need to pay attention to those voices within you that create pain, or make you feel less competent, smart or able. You can simply act as if that part of you were a small child; hold it, reassure it, and move on. Do not let those voices attract too much of your attention, and do not think that you are them either. Learn not to pay attention to the little voices within that would have you think you are not great.
The basic nobility of your soul is seeking expression in your actions. What qualities or personality traits would you like to have? Which character traits do you already have that you feel good about? Realize that the qualities you would like to be, you already have. You are simply looking for an increased expression of them in your life.
There is a fine line between egotistical and humble. Walking that line brings the expression of power into balance. Do you brag about yourself? Do you go around wanting to tell people when you did something great? Or do you listen to people with an open ear, putting your own accomplishments aside? The tendency to overstate or exaggerate accomplishments can create problems. Do you find yourself rehearsing what you are going to say to someone about something wonderful you accomplished? There is a difference between coming from confidence and coming from egotism.
If you feel you have done or are doing something great or unusual, you are sending a message to your subconscious telling it that this is not a normal achievement. If you want to bring more great accomplishments into your life, then take them in stride when they happen. (Congratulate yourself, but let it seem as if it is something you do every day.) For instance, some of you go on diets. When you succeed for one or two days, you tell yourself how wonderfully you did. Thus you tell your subconscious that this is an extraordinary occurrence and not a normal one. If you want to change your nutritional habits and you eat healthy food for a day or two, instead of feeling you have accomplished a great deed, view it as something you do every day. Take it in stride. You will then begin to set up a vision of healthful eating as your normal mode of being. Later however, when it has become an established way of life, do let yourself feel good about the change you have made.
There are times when you need to congratulate yourself far more than you do. This is the other side, not too much egotism but the lack of it. Some of you achieve your goals and never stop to acknowledge or congratulate yourselves; you simply focus on the next thing you must do. You lack awareness of your achievements and give yourselves no acknowledgement for your accomplishments.
It is important to become aware of the attention you pay to who you are not. You may say, "I need to do this or that. Why am I always so unorganized, so unfocused?" Be aware that as you think of your lack of certain qualities, you bring that lack into yourself.
Whatever you pay attention to
is what you create
If you spend time feeling bad about something you did, feeling that you were not powerful, or that you did not say the right thing, or if you focus on the things you are not, you increase their power over you. Instead, recognize the qualities you have. Take the things you want to become, and remember those times when you demonstrated those qualities. The more you see within yourself what you want to become, the more you will become it. If you say to yourself, "I have no will power, I never get things done," then you are simply sending that energy out into the future. If, on the other hand, you begin saying to yourself, "I love the way I act around people; I have so much will power, I am so focused," you will experience a new energy coming up from within. You will find yourself becoming that quality. Every time you have a negative image of yourself, saying things such as "I never get things done, I don't have enough time," you send out an image to the world, broadcast that quality, and create that circumstance in your life. If you say positive things about yourself, you will become them also.
Very enlightened and evolved souls know how to show their greatness and power and not create defensiveness, but devotion. If you want people to respect and look up to you, know that it will not happen be cause you walk around telling everyone how great you are. You have seen people who do that; they invite at tack. You have also seen people who are truly evolved, who smile, who recognize greatness in other people, whose focus is assisting and helping. That is true power. It comes from the inner image you hold of your self. You do not need to tell people if you are peaceful or focused; they know it. Communication is telepathic.
The images you send out
about yourself into the world
determine how other people see you.
If you walk around telling people something about yourself you do not feel is true inside, people will sense it. On the other hand, if you know that you have a particular quality or personality trait, everywhere you go people will recognize it in you and support you for it, even if you do not tell them about it.
A refined ego has the ability to get along with other people, to assist them in seeing their nobility and power. Competition often comes from those who do not see who they are, who do not have basic trust in their inner greatness. It comes from a lack of confidence. When you are truly secure, when you know and experience the abundance available, there is no need to compete. You will instead help others create abundance in their lives, be it money, love or success. You will want to assist others in seeing who they are because you have all you need and recognize who you are.
When you are with your friends, are you concerned about what they think of you? If you want them to respect and look up to you, then spend time listening to them. Help them focus on their higher good; assist them in seeing their beauty and inner light. People who have true power are not concerned with the impression they make. They are more interested in the person they are with than themselves. They find their sense of inner peace increasing.
Many of you have been afraid
to assert your power,
because of your mistaken and
negative images of power.
There is a need for more role models and leaders who are examples of positive authority. Many of your great spiritual leaders have come to show new images of power, refined power. An influential person is someone who can direct his will to higher good; that is true power. Someone who is concerned with assisting and healing others is demonstrating power. Even if people speak profound words and talk about wise things, if you do not feel increased and expanded when you are with them, as if you have gained access to a deeper level of your being, then you have not experienced true power.
If you want the people around you to experience your power and recognize who you are, listen to them with your heart and do not worry about the impression you are making on them. Care about them and attend to them. Pay attention with your heart, and focus on how you may raise their consciousness and energy. True power can be seen in the eyes. There is such love in the eyes of those who are truly powerful, and they look at you directly. They do not avoid your eyes, but look straight into them. You feel they really care about you. They pay attention to what you are saying. Do you give that kind of alert awareness to people? Do you pay attention? Do you look in their eyes when you speak? Do you listen to what they say or are you busy constructing your reply or thinking of a defence? Does your mind frequently wander to other things while they are talking? Pay attention with your heart, listen to the unspoken words, for all of these are ways to develop your power.
Look at those people who are nice and gentle, who cannot do enough for you, or give you enough love. Increase those people in your life; draw them to you. You have heard the expression, "The meek shall inherit 1 the earth." It means that power is expressed through humility. Truly powerful people have great humility. They do not try to impress, they do not try to be influential. They simply are. People are magnetically drawn to them. They are most often very silent and focused, aware of their core selves. They know that everything in the outer universe is simply symbolic of their inner worlds. They are in charge of their destinies, and often have around them many people who seek them out for advice. People feel recharged and regenerated by their contact. They do not try to convince anyone of anything; they only invite and offer. They never persuade, nor do they use manipulation or aggressiveness to get their way. They listen. If there is anything they can offer to assist you, they offer it; if not, they are silent.
In the next week, look around at the role models you have chosen, and redefine power in your life. See it as that gentle flowing river of energy that is directed by the soul. Become aware of who you are. Broadcast to the universe positive, loving images about yourself and watch people respond. Be willing to use your higher qualities and recognize your abilities.
REFINING THE EGO-RECOGNIZING WHO YOU ARE
PLAYSHEET
Think of two people you know who have really made a difference in your life, who have encouraged, loved, and motivated you, or left you feeling inspired and expanded.
Think of two people you did the same for. See yourself as possessing the qualities that inspire, motivate, encourage and expand others.
What qualities or character traits do you have that you would like to be able to express more of, such as compassion, wisdom, peace, joy, balance, security? State as many as you can think of below, and write each as if it is growing and expanding. For example, "My compassion is expanding every day."
Select one person or situation in which to practice expressing one of those qualities this week.